Blind Five Year Old

2012 was a fantastic year for Blind Five Year Old. I met most of my goals, came to a few epiphanies but often found it difficult to juggle everything at once. In all, this is what I learned.

Stop Comparing

There are a number of ‘names’ in the SEO community and there’s a growing trend to share your journey – to open the kimono so to speak. (Sort of like what I’m doing here which is going to be strange given my next statement.) The odd thing about this transparency is that it puts a bit of pressure on others. Or maybe that’s just me.

I had a chance to sit and chat with Wil Reynolds. I talked with Rhea Drysdale. They were generous with their time and gave a lot of excellent advice. Yet for a brief while those conversations also made me feel pretty lousy.

I started wondering. Was I doing enough to build my company? Was I falling behind? After establishing myself and building my brand was I frittering it away? Would I just be a ‘lifestyle business’? Shouldn’t I get bigger and build an agency? Are they so much better at this stuff than me?

I came to realize that I wasn’t enjoying my success. And that sucked, particularly because I was doing really well. So I decided to stop comparing my journey to those of others.

I am not Wil or Rhea or Rand. They all provide amazing advice based on their journey and personal situations. Mine will be different because I’m different. Hopefully I’ll learn from their insight and experiences but I’m sure I’ll make some of the same mistakes they made as well as others as I find my way. And that’s okay.

Take Risks

One of my goals was to speak at two conferences in 2012. Mind you, I’d never spoken at a conference before and while I’ve done plenty of trainings in front of large groups this would definitely be out of my comfort zone. I’m still an introvert at heart.

I snagged a spot at SMX West 2012 to speak about Authorship. I worked on that deck for ages. I obsessed over it. Then I found out that the presenter notes wouldn’t be available. Yikes! I was incredibly nervous but there were people like Aaron Friedman and Nick Roshon who were eager to see me present and gave me encouragement.

I was up there on stage with Dennis Goedegebuure. He’s done a lot of speaking and seemed … unflappable. “Do you still get nervous?” I asked him. “Oh yeah, every time” he replied. That made me feel better and helped me more than he probably realized. The presentation was … okay. I think I read a bit too much, had slide problems and went long, which meant Vanessa was about ready to shove me off the stage.

It was done. It had gone well enough. People didn’t heckle me and there weren’t any Tweets about how much I sucked. The world kept spinning. I needed that experience because the next time I presented was at MozCon 2012 in front of about 800 or so people. Crazy! I’m not sure Rand knew this would only be my second presentation or not but I’m very thankful for the opportunity he provided.

With the help of some amazing advice I was able to build a much better deck this time. I was a total and complete wreck before I presented. So if you met me there before my slot I might have seemed a bit preoccupied. (A thank you to Mackenzie Fogelson, Pete Meyers and Cyrus Shepard for distracting me with interesting conversations.)

I think I did well. It felt … good, which was an odd sensation for me. And the feedback and score I received validated my effort.

I’ve always taken risks throughout my career and that has to continue if I’m going to grow.

Retain Confidence

I’ve had a crisis of confidence a few times in the past, mostly brought on by my own harsh criticism. That didn’t happen this year but between comparing myself to others and working myself up into a lather about presenting, I may have had a few doubts here and there.

But you have to kick those gremlins out of your head. Confidence is so important. Don’t confuse that with being a cocky douchebag. Confidence simply means that you know you’ve done everything you can do and that you’re comfortable with what you’re putting out there. It’s also acknowledging that you’re not always going to be right. That’s life so get used to it and move on.

This piece from Todd Mintz was brave and worth reading. Todd’s a smart and talented guy but he gets smarter and more skilled as time goes by. The post shows that we can only be confident about where we are at any given point in time. Will we make errors? Sure. But we learn from them and get better. Don’t look back and let mistakes sap your confidence, let it fuel it instead.

Keep Learning

 

In this industry you simply must keep learning. My definition of SEO is quite broad, which means that I need to know a little bit about everything.

Everything is a lot! Some of it you’re not going to understand at first but you have to keep pushing. Ask questions, even dumb ones. Just keep picking up new skills and experimenting. I can not stress enough how beneficial experiential learning is in this business. Don’t just take my word or some expert’s word on how something works, try it yourself.

Because we’re in a post modern SEO era.

Postmodern SEO develop strategies and tactics based on individual context, not on preconceived “Best Practices,” or some blogger’s interpretation of “standards.” Instead we consider things like business goals, risk, longevity, audience and others to build individual strategies.

Do. The. Work.

Watch The Clock

There are simply not enough hours in the day. Success has been great but it also means I’m juggling a lot more. I’ve got more clients. I’ve got a part-time writing gig at Marketing Land. I’m speaking at conferences. I’m keeping up on industry news. And the email just never stops.

I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me. That would be ludicrous! These are good problems. But I haven’t quite mastered how to balance everything yet. I’ve contemplated stopping my #ididnotwakeupin series. I’ve missed out on requests to contribute to articles. Sometimes things just fall through the cracks. And I hate that.

Through it all I have guarded my personal time. I’m still working more than I ever have, but I don’t pull that many crazy hours. I take the time to build Legos with my daughter, play family bingo games or games of Ticket To Ride, watch episodes of Nikita or just have an afternoon off with my wife.

Love Your Calendar

The primary way I began to take back control of my time was to rely on my calendar. I started to put everything in my Google Calendar, including all those ‘tentative’ meetings. Because the worst thing that can happen is you tell three people you’re available on a certain day and within the span of a few hours they all try to book the same time.

Not only were there fewer missed connections but I was able to see the time I had available for other work. It became more and more clear that I had to book hours to do the work too.

Keep Fit

I also made time to workout. I lost 30 pounds and kept it off by counting calories and working our regularly. I admit, part of this was driven by pure vanity. I didn’t want to stand up in front of a lot of people and look bad.

Besides the obvious health benefits, the other reason was also selfish. Staying fit made me a better thinker. Working out let me clear my head and afterwards I was definitely sharper. I think of working out a little like being organized. It takes a bit of time each week but it makes me a lot more productive.

Ditch False Modesty

I ran into Marty Weintraub at both SMX West and MozCon. It was at the latter that he basically called me out. He complimented me on my presentation and I did the ‘aw shucks, thank you, just trying my best’ routine and he told me to stop with the false modesty and instead simply say thank you and accept the praise.

That doesn’t come naturally to me but it was a turning point. I needed to embrace those who appreciated me. I mean, there are going to be plenty of folks who try to tear you down in life so when you’re recognized as being good at something just run with it.

Overcome Guilt

That image will give you a headache right? And that’s the point I’m making here. Guilt is awful but I’ve got a lot of it.

I don’t have much guilt about ‘making it’. I worked hard and put in a lot of time and effort. But I recognize that I didn’t do it alone. I was helped by many many people along the way. So I try to do the same. But that’s not always easy. I despair when I don’t get back to someone’s email or Google+ post.

I even have some guilt about mentioning some people in this post but not others. How can I leave out people like Matt McGee, Anthony Pensabene, Jon Henshaw, Bill Sebald, Zeph Snapp, Max Minzer and Tadeusz Szewczyk.

And I’m leaving a ton of other people out here! I don’t want to slight anyone. I want to acknowledge their contribution and worth. I value my Google+ community. I care. A lot. Yet it’s nearly impossible for me to communicate that. So I’m letting go of that guilt little by little.

Yet, I doubt I’ll get rid of all my guilt because I think it makes me a better person.

Battle Perfectionism

Am I a perfectionist? If you have to ask yourself that question I think you’re likely closer to one than you might think. I have very high standards and I like to present things when I have pulled on every little thread and packaged it up into something that is appealing as well as informative.

This wreaks havoc with my time management and I try to live by the ‘done is better than perfect’ mantra. I nod my head when Jonathon Colman talks about it and often give this exact advice to others. Yet, I find it tough to follow in practice.

The reason why is that my quest for superior quality at all costs has netted me a really nice referral business. I know I should give myself a break but I fear the slippery slope of sloppy work.

Yet I’m beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel as I work on some other projects and collaborate in different ways. That said, don’t expect this to become a high volume blog … ever.

Embrace The Unknown

I remember when I would interview for a job and I’d get that ‘where do you see yourself in 5 years’ question. Based on my life experience I was usually honest in telling people I had no idea. Shit happened and you just never could know how things would turn out. You can only open the door right in front of you and see where it goes.

So I don’t know how Blind Five Year Old will grow, though I think it will. I don’t know what new things I’ll be doing this year. Maybe I’ll build a product. Maybe I’ll do more writing. Maybe I’ll write a book. I just don’t know yet and I’m okay with that.

It’s not that I’m not ambitious or that I don’t have goals. I am and I do. It’s just figuring out which direction to go and opening that door.

Way back in 2007 I decided to strike out on my own and begin consulting. I had a number of clients and things were going well. The snag? I wanted to buy a house and banks were simply not loaning money, especially personal loans for bad credit, to folks who didn’t have W-2 income. Well, they might but not to those who didn’t have 20% to put down and Bay Area housing prices made that difficult.

At the time one of my clients was anxious to get me more involved and by early 2008 we agreed on an arrangement where I’d work three days a week as an employee, giving me the ability to pursue consulting the other two days. It was a great arrangement that provided stability and flexibility for the next three years. I know this isn’t a typical arrangement and I was (and still am) sincerely grateful for the opportunity.

But in 2010 I was turning down more business than I was taking on and I lost a few prospective clients because they weren’t sure I had enough bandwidth. I also, finally, bought a house and no longer had a pressing need for W-2 income. So I decided it was time to return to my initial goal – to consult full-time and run my own business.

Strangely, it was a bit more nerve-wracking this time around. I’d grown comfortable and now had a mortgage looming over my head. But those just weren’t good reasons not to move forward. I’m a big believer in taking risks, particularly when I’m betting on myself.

So how’d it turn out?

Well, all in all, 2011 was a great year. I filled up my list of clients, was nearly always busy, made good money and got to spend amazing time with my wife and daughter. But it wasn’t all roses. I learned a lot this year – about myself and about running a business.

The Power of Gratitude

I never needed to drum up work. The work came to me. Referrals remain the lifeblood of my business. This might be atypical. Remember, I was able to take on clients part-time for a number of years. I was building a track record and securing endorsements that would pay off in the future. As soon as I began to wonder if things had finally dried up I received at least one but usually more inbound inquiries. I do not take this for granted.

But there are important lessons to be learned when I think about the amount of business I get through referrals. First, you must deliver great work. The referrals won’t come otherwise. When you’re working for a client, you’re not just working for them, you’re working for all the clients they might refer to you in the future. Let your client down and you cut off a valuable part of your sales funnel.

This also means keeping up with clients both past, present and future. This isn’t easy for me. I’m not a social animal and while I think about a lot of these people, I don’t often reach out to say hello and touch base. Nor do I like to pursue prospects to see if they’re ready to engage. But I made an effort this year to do so and it paid off. I slacked off on this in the last few months. I’ll change that going into 2012.

In the past I thought this type of outreach was intrusive but I find that most people enjoy a quick email. It usually leads to interesting discussions and, yes, the occasional referral. Sometimes just being top-of-mind is what gets you in the door.

Another thing. When someone helps you out with a referral, say thank you. Even if that referral doesn’t pan out, thank them for thinking of you. Never forget the power of gratitude.

Respond ASAP

As the year wore on I got more and more inbound emails and inquiries. They competed with emails from current clients and outstanding proposals. Not to mention the comments people were kind enough to leave on this blog or those who paid me a kind word on Twitter.

I’ve read, again and again, that responding quickly is critical. Yet, I didn’t do a great job of this. In part, I was hobbled by the desire to craft the perfect response. Was it important just to respond or to respond with something of substance? What I’ve learned is that it’s better to lean toward the former, in part because my idea of substance was often far more than was expected.

I’m not saying you should be glib but the adage that a little bit goes a long way fits in this scenario. I still fight this battle though and often let days and days go by before I respond. This is bad. Don’t do it. I’m hoping to turn this around in 2012 and respond quickly and see where those conversations go and not hold myself up to some ultimate standard of communication.

So if I ignored you this year, I apologize. It’s not that I didn’t care. In fact, I still remember nearly every email I didn’t return and every Tweet I didn’t acknowledge. Hopefully I won’t paint myself into this guilty corner in 2012.

Build The Brand

I decided to spend a decent amount of time building my personal brand. I took to heart some advice from Rand Fishkin about blogging. I did more of it and made it easier for people to share my content. I also spent more time promoting myself, through Twitter, via comments on other blogs, on Quora, LinkedIn and on Google+. I’m still better at promoting other people than myself but I came a long way this year.

I also became a Sphinn editor which then morphed into being a Marketing Land curator. It was one of the best things I did this year. I got to know and learned from folks like Matt McGee, Michelle Robbins, Danny Sullivan, Hugo Guzman, James Svoboda, Todd Mintz, Jill Whalen and many more. It also ensured that my information consumption was being put to good use.

You see, I consume a vast amount of information. On a typical day I’m dedicating approximately two hours to reading articles, analysis, responses and posts on a wide range of topics. To be honest, I think being able to make sense of all that information, connecting the dots and finding trends that I can pass on to my clients is valuable. Some of that also shows up on Twitter and Google+.

Building the brand also meant being more social. I did a fairly good job of this online. I thought my Valentine’s Day post was a good start and from there I upped my interactions on my blog and via Twitter. I also embraced Google+ and used it as I had FriendFeed, posting a diverse amount of content that let people get to know the ‘real’ me.

I also took advantage of an opportunity and went to see Amit Singhal, Ben Gomes and Matt Cutts at the Churchill Club. Not only did I get to see them, I had a chance to chat with each of them as well. It reminded me that I need to get out there more often, even if I’m a bit socially uncomfortable. Again, my thanks to Rick Bucich who was my wing man. We could be social awkward together and that makes a huge difference.

Earlier in the year I had botched SMX West. I’d received some shocking personal news that really rocked me. I won’t go into here but suffice to say I didn’t attend many sessions and even when I did I wasn’t really there. Yes, there are other conferences and perhaps I should have gone but … I didn’t.

This year I’m looking to attend at least two conferences and speak at one. While there I’ll remind myself to be more social and meet all of the people I’ve been talking to throughout the year. Putting myself out there and letting people put a person to the words is important.

One of the results of my brand building efforts was the opportunity to participate in the SEOmoz Search Engine Ranking Factors and Google News Ranking Factors panels. There’s a bit of virtuous cycle here. Your brand gets a boost by being on these panels which amplifies your brand moving forward and helps you secure more business which in turn increases your brand, if you’re continuing to do good work.

I remain dedicated to doing great work for my clients.

Better, Faster, Cheaper

The old better, faster, cheaper adage is that you can only do two of the three at any given time. I wasn’t going to be cheap. I’d already learned that being cheap diminished my contribution and often attracted the wrong type of client.

So I settled on better and faster. The problem? Everything took longer than I expected. Part of this is my stubbornness around being better. When I do something, I want to do it really well. It wasn’t about meeting the client’s expectations, it was about blowing those expectations away. It was about pulling on every little thread in a site audit to make sure I didn’t miss something.

All of this made being faster, while maintaining my level of quality, a challenge. At times I thought about doing things ‘good enough’ or finding ways to simply deliver what the client expected. Why was I knocking myself out? But being thorough and thoughtful was part of my DNA. Not only that it was a point of differentiation. It’s what I stood for. And as I’ve already discussed, delivering great work doubled as my sales funnel.

It’s also one of the reasons I turned down a number of guest blogging and speaking opportunities. My own blog posts take between two and five hours each. (This one is well above that.) I don’t think that’s going to change. I’m methodical and I’ll do an extraordinary amount of due diligence before I’m comfortable putting something out there.

Building vs Doing

Obviously, I’m a big believer in building your brand and business. That takes work. Blog posts. Quora. Google+. Twitter. Commenting. Seriously, there’s a lot of work involved in building and promoting your business. Balancing the time you spend building the brand versus doing the work can be difficult. Doubly so if you take into account my personal expectations of quality.

I fought this see-saw battle all year and expect to do so again in 2012. There’s just no way around it.

Fill Your Pipeline

 

Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. There were times when I thought I had a slew of business lined up waiting to go. But I’d already learned to keep piling on prospective work. Because suddenly a few of those potential clients go silent, there’s a change in management or you simply don’t get that business.

And what’s the worst thing that happens if you book too much business? Seriously, that’s a good problem to have. That’s when you buy a bunch of Red Bull, work with clients on timelines and deliverables and bring on a few trusted colleagues to help out.

Send Me …

Cranking out proposals and contracts isn’t as easy as it sounds. You figure out quickly that different clients want different types of things and that, in turn, demands a different type of approach and response. I took time to build proposals for a variety of types of projects and even came up with a menu of services.

Having been the recipient of a lot of proposals and contracts over the years (even from others in my industry) so I had a general idea of what was expected and how they were presented. Honestly, the amount of diversity here is incredible. I’ve seen cookie-cutter PowerPoint decks, simple one page word documents or a novella worth of FAQs being used as proposals.

In my eyes, the level of professionalism just isn’t that high. So of course I wanted to do better. I spent time and energy getting a standard look and feel to my materials. The same fonts. The same formatting. The same iconography. I wanted to put my best foot forward every time.

That took time but by the end of the year I had a lot of collateral squared away and ready to go which made the proposal process a lot less time consuming.

Cross the Ts, Dot the Is

Then there are contracts. You need to have your own but you also need to be prepared to review and sign those provided by clients. Don’t just glance at this stuff. Read the contract and make sure that you are okay with the terms. If you’re not, make suggested revisions. Now, I didn’t get tangled up in a bad contract this year, but that’s partly because I changed terms prior to entering that agreement. Don’t be afraid to do this.

I might also add that twice I had clients correct errors (minor legalese errors) in my own contract template. While this is embarrassing I am thankful that they took the time to review the contract and provide that feedback. I’m better for it.

Going Steady?

 

So you land a new client and you’re doing a site audit. Some of these are one-time engagements but most of the time you (and the client) are hoping that it turns into a long-term relationship. The question is how to structure those engagements. I’ve avoided retainer based engagements because there are times when I’ll feel like I’m not delivering enough value and other times when I feel like that client is soaking up way too much of my time. Honestly, I was more concerned about the former.

While I might be able to drive a few clients into a retainer based relationship and have a set amount of money coming in, I just didn’t want that added pressure and the question in the back of my mind – am I doing enough? That said, I had enough clients asking for this that I decided to give it a try. So far, so good.

I structured my retainers so I had some protection from being ridiculously overworked. That helped put my mind at ease on that side of the equation. But what about that feeling that I’m not contributing enough? What I’ve found is that it’s about trust and reliability. Clients need to trust that you’re looking out for their interests and that you are there with advice and recommendations that they can trust and believe in. Having that resource, on call, is valuable. This is even more important in a field where things change frequently and there is a slew of conflicting (and bad) advice.

I haven’t figured out the best way to seamlessly move from audit into a long-term engagement but the majority of my clients do take this path. It’s usually not the same and that makes it strange and bumpy at times. I’m not sure this is a problem I can or should solve.

For Love and Money

Invoicing and keeping track of accounts receivables wasn’t that big of a problem. I have a nice invoice template I’ve used for years and diligently track unpaid invoices. In 2011 I only had one client who I had to chase down for payment.

You do begin to learn who pays quickly and who is cutting your net 30 arrangement to the very last day. Sometimes cash flow became an issue, particularly when I had to pay subcontractors or vendors. That’s certainly something I’ll work on in 2012.

Outside of that I didn’t actually like doing the invoicing. Crazy isn’t it? The thing that gets me paid always felt like pulling teeth. Reviewing everything I’d done and tallying up the hours and deliverables was just not fun for me. Getting those checks in the mail certainly did!

I just really like what I do and am able to make a good living at it. For that I am very lucky.

The Right Clients

You need to get good, quickly, at figuring out which clients are right for you. For me, this means they’re already knowledgeable about SEO and Internet marketing. I want smart teams that I can partner with and engage in meaningful dialog that moves the site and my knowledge forward. Because make no mistake, you are constantly learning in this business. Every new engagement brings a new set of challenges and reveals a new wrinkle that you might not have seen previously.

I don’t want clients who are constantly questioning the validity of SEO. I avoid those who can’t bring resources to bear on recommendations because I want to see results. I’m not a big fan of politics so I avoid large organizations. Discount hunters are also usually bad news. I’ve also experimented with small business and local clients but my services just don’t scale for most of these folks.

There are plenty of posts out there about  bad clients but it’s really on you to find the good clients. Don’t be afraid to turn away clients who you know are going to be a time suck. Another way to handle this is to bake it into your proposal. Pricing yourself out of potentially bad relationships is a very valuable technique.

In the end, I want clients who understand that I’m going to tell them the truth, whether it’s popular or not.

How Much!?

Medical coverage costs a metric-fuck-ton. I’m using foul language here because it really is that bad. The amount I pay for medical coverage is obscene. I’m looking to lower this cost in 2012 but there’s also a huge amount of complexity and fear in switching plans. I’ve been through this rodeo just in switching plans when I went from job to job. But it’s even more difficult when you’re self-employed and worried about making sure your family has health coverage.

In addition, the quarterly tax payments can be a drag. I don’t mind paying taxes. I’m quite happy to pay my share. But the chunks you pay are sizable so you really have to plan ahead. Get yourself a CPA if you’re going to start a business or even just do a fair amount of consulting. The $500 I pay mine is well worth it and has saved me money and countless hours of my time.

Stay Active

I let my health slip a bit this year. I didn’t eat well and didn’t exercise as much either. This is odd since I’m spending so much time at home. I’ve already begun to change this and will be a healthier person in 2012. This is important because being active can help you work through problems and simply think better. Diet can also have a profound impact on your mood.

All of this is wrapped up in making sure you keep motivated. Like or not, sometimes that motivation leaves you. You get stressed and get jammed up. You feel like you’re juggling too much and that you’ll never catch up. You wake up and you just don’t want to tackle what’s in front of you. It feels enormous and endless. That’s where being active can change things. Get out on the bike and ride for a few hours and you clear your head and come back energized.

More or Less

I am a huge believer in life/work balance. That said, now that I’m running my own business I am working a lot more. Part of this is the fact that I work at home. I’m upstairs in my office, wearing an old Google fleece and some sweatpants. I’m up at 6am every day looking through my RSS feeds and soaking up as much information as I can instead of spending an unproductive hour or more commuting.

The days begin to blend together. Weekdays and weekends aren’t so different so you wind up putting in hours on the weekend too. But it’s all on your own terms! That’s the great thing.

So if I want to stop and go for a bike ride with my daughter. I can do that. If I want to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix in the middle of the day. I can do that. The flexibility is amazing. So even though I might be working more hours I’m also spending more quality time with my family and doing the things I really want to do.

Leverage

It got to the point where I was essentially booked solid. If you’re charging an hourly rate, you can only make so much. There are only so many hours in the day. Sure, you can use fixed pricing on audits but most of the time you’re not making much more there. You figure out the hours you need and price the audit accordingly. Honestly, I probably short-changed myself more often than not. As I mentioned, everything takes longer than you think.

So you begin to think about how you could get to the next level. Did I want to build an ‘agency’? Maybe but I’m a better leader than manager. So you begin to think about other ways to leverage the expertise you have. This is where I’m looking in 2012. Once again, I’ll be balancing initiatives to build and expand the business versus doing the work. So, while I may not be an agency per se, I think there’s a strong possibility that I’ll want to bring some other people in next year.

This might give me just enough time to explore new ways to serve clients. Maybe I should write an ebook or a real book? I did a number of SEO training sessions this year, maybe that’s something to pursue.

I have a great but complex idea for a WordPress Plugin. I actually did a substantial amount of research here, wrote a solid product document and contacted a developer but it just never got off the ground. I could restart that project.

And then there are other ideas outside of this industry, one of which would provide bloggers with a new revenue stream.

I don’t lack in ideas. I lack in time. And with that time constraint I vacillate. I want to pick the ‘right’ one. But I know that’s not the right way to approach things. Pick one. Try it. If it works, awesome. If it doesn’t. Learn from the failure and move on to the next idea. It’s easier said than done but I’m committed to this philosophy in 2012.

Is information overload a problem our new digital society must solve or are we changing how we learn?

Information Overload

We’ve gone from a handful of TV channels to more than 500; from a few radio stations to streaming music on demand; from reading the local newspaper to reading publications from around the world.

The Extracting Value from Chaos report from IDC iView provides a staggering overview of our digital footprint.

In 2011, the amount of information created and replicated will surpass 1.8 zettabytes (1.8 trillion gigabytes) – growing by a factor of 9 in just five years.

It’s not just digital either. We see this trend in the publishing industry where print-on-demand and self-published books have skyrocketed (pdf).

This does not include Audio or eBooks.

Of course, we’re also sharing all of this information at an accelerated rate.

Zuckerberg’s Law of Sharing states that sharing activity will double each year.

You know that information is increasing, but you might not realize just how much and how fast it is increasing.

Curation

As the amount of information increases many have looked at ways to sift through and make sense of it all. The goal is to find signal amid the noise. Plenty of folks are trying to apply different techniques and algorithms to winnow things down to only the most interesting and relevant.

KnowAboutIt, XYDO, My6Sense, Trunk.ly and Summify among others are all trying to cull the web and deliver the ‘right’ information to your inbox.

Aggregated social curation sounds logical but I haven’t found it very valuable. I find the stuff I already read (or would have found) anyway. Maybe it works if you’re not drinking from the information hose, but most of us are doing more of that in one way or the other. I can’t imagine relying on just these services for my information.

Many believe that serendipity is an important part of information consumption, but most of the services give this lip service at best. They’re doing more of what a good brand marketer would do, cranking out extensions to a known product. In this case that product is the type of content that you and your network of ‘friends’ are reading. I think you quickly reach a local maxima where you’re not finding new things and making new connections.

Today’s curation seems more like an echo chamber.

Distraction

Nicholas Carr thinks the Internet is doing evil things to us and Google might be making us stupid. NPR books summarizes Carr’s thesis as follows.

Carr believes that the Internet is a medium based on interruption — and it’s changing the way people read and process information. We’ve come to associate the acquisition of wisdom with deep reading and solitary concentration, and he says there’s not much of that to be found online.

Carr might be right about the distraction of the Internet. But this is but one way in which we acquire information. I watch two hour movies straight through, can read a book for hours at a stretch and still conduct lengthy phone calls. The idea that we can only process information in one way seems like an odd conclusion. It would be like saying that because we possess the ability to drive that athletic prowess will decline.

Taking it a step further, there is an assumption that we process information uniformly. Here’s where fiction helps reveal a greater truth. The Ghost In Love by Jonathan Carroll explores the division of personality. We are different people throughout our lives, day-by-day and even different people at the same time.

How can we be kind when you were so mean to that stranger the other day? How can we be intelligent when you made such a stupid mistake the other week? Many people struggle with this seeming paradox. But we’re not robots! We’re not just one monolithic entity that does things the same way every day. Not only do we evolve over time (just think about your musical tastes) but we’ll react to information in different ways on an hourly basis. Much of this has to do with context, but I think there are more complex factors at work.

So why do we persist in this notion that we can only comprehend information in one way. That’s just patently untrue.

Cut-Up Learning

The cut-up technique was made popular by William Burroughs and is performed by cutting up content and putting it back together in a different order. By doing so, it reveals new words, new insight and new meaning. It’s a type of non-linear learning.

I believe the Internet, the great distractor, is a digital version of the cut-up technique. It is actually more powerful because we can cut-up more information from a wide variety of topics and mediums.

We’re so consumed with capturing just the right thing, those few articles that will provide insight, that we miss the opportunity to piece together and make connections to a larger puzzle.

The goal isn’t to curate and aggregate the content into neat little packages but to cut up the information to unlock trends and insight.

Skimming

I read a large number of RSS feeds, a diverse blend of literature, photography, analytics, SEO, technology, life hacking, science, local, marketing, design, UX, humor and start-up related blogs. I also let the river of information flow through platforms like FriendFeed, Google+, Pinterest and Twitter.

Do I read every post word for word? No. I’m skimming a lot of the time, both in terms of the type of content that is being generated (the theme and pulse of activity) and the actual content itself. Skimming doesn’t mean I’m not getting value from that content. By skimming through a variety of pieces, topics and media I create a very different view of the data that is swirling around me.

That also doesn’t prevent me from taking a deep dive on any given piece I find. In fact, I’d hazard that I locate more of these pieces through the act of skimming.

Cut-Up Example

So lets go from theory to practice. I believe Google is extremely interested in creating some sort of AuthorRank based on the quality of and engagement with the content that author produces. Here’s the cut-up that leads me to this conclusion.

I watch Steven Levy interviewed by Matt Cutts, and find both Levy’s mention of being outranked by Huffington Post interesting but also note the look Cutts gives someone in the audience directly after this remark. I watch this video after authorship is rolled out by Google at SMX Advanced. This is an example of how the cut-up technique doesn’t need to be linear.

I keep track of the debate around identity on Google+ and see how their inflexibility on the issue is rooted in ensuring confidence in authorship. I watch the high rate of iteration in the rel=”author” program and note who is leading those efforts. I look at which Google Webmaster Central videos in this latest series are released first. Because they record them in large chunks, so the authorship video getting to the head of the line signals a sort of priority.

I read about the acquisitions of companies that measure engagement with content. I ask questions about what Google is doing with PostRank and (repeatedly) get no response. Silence can be a very loud signal.

Those are all signals within the actual topic, though they might be in different media. But I also pay close attention to how Facebook is implementing EdgeRank and note the direction LinkedIn is going as well. Again, those are closely related to authorship and identity so it’s not going too far afield.

But there are other vectors that might seem unrelated. I listen to artists who are irate at how their work is taken and used without credit. I key in on articles that highlight the music that is most often sampled by new artists. I listen to the Rick Astley and Nirvana mashup. I laugh at the misattributed quote meme but also think about what it represents. I uncover distasteful social proof manipulation and dive into the argument about influence and whether Klout is accurate.

Alone, each of these things are of passing interest, but with access to so much information I find greater context and meaning.

Mind Hacking

The digital age allows us to peer over the shoulders of more people. A lot of them may provide little to no value but some will be intelligent and provide thoughtful commentary and links. I’ve become adept at quickly recognizing the difference. It’s reminiscent of what Gladwell talks about in Blink.

Maybe I am an outlier and my information consumption behavior is non-traditional, but given the rate in which information is accelerating I believe more and more people will adopt (or be forced into) this type of cut-up learning.

I used to scoff at the number of people Robert Scoble followed, invoking Dunbar’s Number as my defense. What I’ve realized is that there is a vast difference in social relationships versus information discovery.

I still believe in Dunbar’s Number as it pertains to relationships but not when it comes to information discovery. I doubt highly that Robert is truly friends with the 32,000 people he follows on Twitter. But he is adept at taking the stream of information those people create and gaining value from it.

Tools

Certain tools can help to make cut up learning easier, in part by simply letting you organize what you’ll skim. Google Reader is an absolute stellar resource. And no one has beaten the original FriendFeed friend of a friend functionality in delivering new and random things to my worldview. G+ is slowly getting better since I do find a diverse blend of technology, science, art and business that I can peruse.

The curation services? I’ll use them. But they’re more like an information safety net. My interaction with them is limited to no more than a 10 second skim and scroll of the content for confirmation.

But in the end, the biggest tool we’ll have is our mind and our own ability to collect and process all that information. Maybe our brains are being rewired but who’s to say that’s a bad thing?

TL;DR

I found an article the other day that opined that the way to succeed in business was to know where the customer was going, not where they were now. This was a proxy for how I felt about the difference between curation services and cut up learning. Curation can tell you where things are now, while cut up learning can tell you where things are going.

Information overload may not be a problem we have to solve but instead could lead to a new way of learning. Skimming things does not make us shallow, it may actually make us rich.

I’ve thought about this post for a while but never pulled the trigger. But with the ruckus over names on G+ and the ridiculous Same Name reality show I thought it was finally time to blog about doppelgängers.

Doppelgänger

Merriam-Webster defines doppelgänger as:

1: a ghostly counterpart of a living person 2 a : double 2a  b : alter ego b  c : a person who has the same name as another

The emphasis is mine and I’m using that version of the definition here. It’s easy to find Internet doppelgängers by doing a vanity search on Google or setting up a Google Alert on your name.

So without further ado, let me introduce you to my three doppelgängers. (Who knew I was so talented?)

Pro Freestyle Skateboarder

AJ Kohn co-founded One Skateboard Co and is an accomplished freestyle skateboarder.

The odd thing is we both grew up near Philadelphia. Because of this, every now and again I get a random email from someone looking to reconnect with him. In a few cases it’s been tough for me to persuade them that I’m not that AJ Kohn.

Amateur Baseball Player

AJ Kohn is an infielder on the Plainview Bucks, an amateur baseball team in Minnesota.

I don’t know which one is AJ Kohn, but I do know that he’s the star of the team, batting .424 with 31 hits, 11 runs and 12 RBI.

Marine Biologist

AJ Kohn was the first to report that some cone snails hunt fish by paralyzing them with a powerful neurotoxin. Their sting can even kill people!

Now Professor Emeritus at University of Washington, he dedicated his professional life to “understanding of the evolutionary processes that have led to high biotic diversity in tropical marine environments.”

Passion

I take great comfort in my doppelgängers because they remind me to be passionate about what I do. Each AJ Kohn followed a passion, whether it be skateboarding, baseball or marine biology. I admire that.

What about your doppelgängers? Find yours and tell me what they’re up to. #doppelgangers

I often fail to thank folks properly. I mean to do it but … I wind up getting busy and then a week goes by and then a thank you seems false. Yet, I truly do appreciate it!

So it seems apt on Valentine’s Day to thank the many people who have influenced, supported and helped me over the past year.

Aaron Bradley (@aaranged) at SEO Skeptic has consistently provided engaging dialog on my blog. I hope to return the favor. Aaron is a thought leader, willing to rely on his own critical analysis in looking at a subject.

Michael Martinez (@seo_theory) at SEO Theory isn’t going to give you the same old SEO spiel found on hundreds of other blogs. Like Aaron Bradley, it’s great to find free thinkers in an industry with plenty of sheep.

Rob Diana (@robdiana) at Regular Geek is amazingly smart and engaging. Not only has he been a great supporter but he is vital to helping me find the best information on the Internet.

Matt McGee (@mattmcgee) and Danny Sullivan (@dannysullivan) are great people who have given me the opportunity to be an Editor at Sphinn. I sincerely appreciate their confidence.

Matt Cutts (@mattcutts) is a decent and generous guy. He may not always provide the answer I want to hear, but he’s nearly always there with an answer nonetheless.

Paul Buchheit (@paultoo) is, among other things, the founder of FriendFeed. That alone gets him on my list but his personal blog has also been inspirational.

Rick Bucich (@rbucich) has been a long time supporter of me and my blog. He’s wicked smart about SEO, so it’s a real compliment to have him in my corner.

Andrew Hanelly (@hanelly) has made some complimentary comments on the blog. That’s great, particularly since his own blog is great as well.

Jeremy Post (@jeremypost) is the best colleague I’ve had since I began SEO. Smart, hard-working and an all around good guy. He keeps me on my toes. Bonus – he brews his own beer.

Jonathan Mendez (@jonathanmendez) at Optimize and Prophesize provides amazing insight, bridging search and display. I’ve been lucky to interact with him a few times and always feel smarter afterward.

Lisa Barone (@LisaBarone) at Outspoken Media was kind enough to feature my Facebook SEO Guide in one of her posts. I’d be lying if it wasn’t nice to be acknowledged by one of the ‘cool crowd’ in the industry.

Rand Fishkin (@randfish) is CEO and Co-Founder of SEOmoz. You’d have to live under a rock not to know of Rand. I don’t know Rand personally, outside of a small email exchange, but his personal blog has been influential. I’m blogging more and better able to deal with haters because of his writings.

Aleyda Solis (@aleyda) at Aleyda Solis has been a tremendous supporter. My Spanish isn’t very good so I’ll simply say muchas gracias.

Kirby Freeman (@kirbyfreeman) is whip smart with a true gift for building product. She made me look good.

Michael Fruchter (@fruchter) has been a great supporter and another source for great content.

Micah France (@micah_france) has been generous with his comments and Tweets. They don’t go unnoticed.

Eric Logan (@ericloganvanman) is nearly always the first person to Like one of my posts on FriendFeed. It just seems like he’s got my back.

Roberto Bonini (@rbonini) is also quick to Like my content on FriendFeed. I appreciate it.

Louis Gray (@louisgray) introduces me to new and interesting services – constantly. He’s perhaps the nicest guy you’ll ever meet too.

Tad Chef (@onreact_com) at SEOptimise is always interesting and was kind to include me in his 30 Great SEO Blogs You Might Not Know Yet.

Elisa Gabbert (@egabbert) at WordStream is smart and funny. It’s awesome when someone like that references your work.

Alexia Tsotsis (@alexia) put my contact information smack dab on TechCrunch. That can’t be bad for business.

Tamar Weinberg (@tamar) at Techipedia does a fantastic job finding the best in Internet marketing. It was an honor to be on her list of Best Internet Marketing Posts of 2010.

Matt Gammie (@mattgammie) has been an interesting new and diverse voice. I appreciate the dialog.

Derek Perez (@perezd) at Perezium is wise beyond his years. He’s a hoot to be around but serious about the intersection of code, UX and start-ups.

Chris Eppstein (@chriseppstein) is an amazing Software Architect. Many of our conversations about search wind up as blog posts. I hope that continues.

Srikanth AD (@srikanth_AD) has been a great supporter, particularly on Quora.

Jill Whalen (@jillwhalen) at High Rankings is quick with an answer and always has an informed opinion. I may not always agree, but I like that she’s got an honest point of view.

Mark Essel (@VictusFate) at Victus Spirtus let me ride shotgun on his entrepreneurial ride. It’s been amazing to follow and his frequent blog posts often point me in interesting directions.

Mahendra Palsule (@ScepticGeek) at Skeptic Geek is a gold mine of information and insight. I’m thankful for his support and appreciate his editorial prowess.

Kristi Hines (@kikolani) at Kristi Hines is a dynamo. I certainly appreciate the mention.

Ruud Hein (@RuudHein) at Search Engine People is a great writer and search historian. Bonus – he’s friendly on Twitter.

Barry Schwartz (@rustybrick) has included me in a number of his daily search recaps. Thank you.

Danny Brown (@dannybrown) is a paragon for all bloggers. He’s smart, down-to-earth and incredibly responsive.

Greg Sterling (@gsterling) at Screenwerk was kind to chat with me at SMX Advanced. He’s the guy to talk to about local and mobile.

Bill Slawski (@bill_slawski) at SEO by the Sea provides an incredible service to the SEO industry. We all appreciate it.

Donna Fontenot (@DonnaFontenot) at DazzlinDonna is as generous and nice as she claims to be.

Bill Rowland (@billrowland) at Nexus Interactive Marketing has commented on the blog a number of times. I’m thankful for his contributions.

Marty Weintraub (@aimclear) at aimClear for reminding me that search is fun. I hope to deliver as much value when I next present.

The music is playing so let me quickly squeeze in others who have written about me on blogs, mentioned me on Twitter or included me in their daily news.

• Offshore Ally (@offshoreally)
• Diana Zurdo (@dianazuru)
• Vincent Beneche (@crealoop)
• Fiona Friesen (@GlueEd)
• Kyle Pearce (@kaaist)
• Matt (@springboardseo)
• Antonella Piscitelli (@hawaikiki)
• Jonathan Leplang (@Web_Skills)
• Bogdan Oltean (@bogdanoltean)
• Jeroen Smeekens (@jsmeekens)
• Barry Adams (@badams)
• Woof Online (@woofonline)
• Eric Steiner (@commandervon)
• John S. Rizzo (@askrizzo)
• Martin Missfeldt (@mssfldt)
• Nick LeRoy (@SEONickLeRoy)
• Helen Stepchuk (@helenstepchuk)
• David Malmborg (@davidmalmborg)
• Marc Bitanga (@marcbitanga)
• Timothy Serrano (@TimothySerrano)
• Kissaki Cross Media (@Crossmedia_eu)
• Gil Reich (@GilR)
• Marcel Media (@marcelmedia)
• Anthony Young (@RexSFO)
• Julie Walraven (@JulieWalraven)
• Morten Brugard (@mbrugard)
• Peonia (@EnItaliano)
• Eric Bonnici (@AJ2000)
• Kathy Meyer (@2cre8)
• Julian Vega (@ingjulianvega)
• Darrin Keene (@urban_dk)
• Katie Fox (@BloomgFootprint)
• Matthew Simmons (@Mattinhenley)
• Ted Vinzani (@relevance)
• Craig Deakin (@craigdeakin)
• Joe Tertel (@jtertel)
• D. Godínez (@piernes)
• Brandon Chesnutt (@bchesnutt)
• Drew Harding (@drew_harding)
• Alex Bennert (@seosylph)
• Leah Baade (@leahbaade)
• Jonathan Schikowski (@schikowski)
• Top Notch SEO (@TopNotchSEO)
• Jey Pandian (@RainJaguarSEO)
• Khayyam Wakil (@iamkhayyam)
• The vBSEO Team (@vbseo)
• Juan Carlos Muriente (@muriente)
• Hannes Krueger (@seo_depp)
• John Welsh (@johnwelsh)
• Kelly Lenihan (@kellylenihan)
• Janet Fouts (@jfouts)
• Eric Itzkowitz (@ericitzkowitz)
• Filippo Scrocco (@Filippo_Scrocco)
• Jens Wedin (@jenswedin)
• Andrew Nattan (@Mr603)
• Tony Verre (@tonyverre)
• Chris Boggs (@boggles)

The number of folks who have been kind to me is overwhelming. I hope I continue to earn your comments and support. And I know I’ve left off a lot of people (particularly folks at FriendFeed). So thank you to those that I have unintentionally missed.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

It’s a new year and like millions of others I’ve taken stock and made some resolutions.

The Dark Passenger

Perhaps it was in this state of mind that I caught myself turning Quora into a competition. It’s not (or shouldn’t be) and my initial motivations for answering were more altruistic than self-serving. But like some dark passenger (hat tip to Dexter), my competitive nature has emerged. Mind you, there’s nothing wrong with being competitive.

I’ve been criticized for being too self-assured, cocky or condescending. “You seem to think your opinion is always right.” I’ve heard that a number of times. My response is another question. Why would I give an opinion that I didn’t believe in?

While true, I doubt that response helps my case. That’s not to say that I’m never wrong or that I don’t change my mind. I can be persuaded to see another point of view. I enjoy intelligent debate.

That brings me to Adam Lasnik, who started off the new year with two great blog posts. I wholeheartedly agree with his publish first, think later criticism. His musings on why and whether we should contribute to sites like Quora got me thinking.

Why are we contributing to Quora? It’s a funny business in a way. Quora’s business is our contributions. It’s the same knock I have against article directories. They make a business on your content, leasing back a small fraction of their trust and authority in the form of backlinks. It’s not a particularly healthy relationship.

Is Quora different?

I still see value in contributing to a community like Quora and Stack Overflow. I don’t think a policy of isolation is the right course of action. Sharing your expertise is good business. But it makes me think about the motivations for contributing. On the face, you want to share your knowledge with someone. They have a question. You have an answer.

But it’s not like someone asking you in person, or via email or any other number of mediums. They’re not just asking you. Instead of getting one answer, they’ll get a number of answers. That can often be good, but it’s then up to the person or community to determine which of those answers is … best. Dress it up as most useful or interesting – people assign judgment to your content.

Keeping Score

Should we be surprised when we get caught up in wanting to have that best answer? It reminded me of a lyric from Love’s Not A Competition (But I’m Winning) by the Kaiser Chiefs.

I’m not sure what’s truly altruistic anymore,
When every good thing that I do is listed and you’re keeping score,

Whoa.

So I’m guarding against this ego based, game mentality. I don’t want to want to be first to answer a question, nor do I want that dark passenger to push me to contribute more. I’d like to be far more collegiate in nature, because this isn’t a zero sum game.

(From time to time I post things outside of search, marketing and social media. This is one of those posts. So if that’s not what you’re looking for, this is your time to bail.)

For my birthday I received a Kurt Kinetic Bike Trainer. I’ve been on it a lot lately, spinning away in my new garage while listening to a variety of music. Yesterday it was Billy Idol’s Vital Idol, a collection of extended versions and remixes of some of his more popular songs.

I’m not exactly the biggest Billy Idol fan, but he – and this album in particular – captured a moment in time for me. I recall driving down to the shore (Long Beach Island to be exact) during the height of summer. I left at 3 or 4 in the morning to beat the traffic that inevitably stacked up on the two lane highway. It was rather desolate, my headlights making a small hole in the darkness as I flew past the gnarled Pine Barrens on Route 72.

Vital Idol was in the cassette player. The music was loud, drowning out the roar of the wind through the open windows. The adolescent sex fueled lyrics, thumping beat, synthesized surround wash and Steven Stevens blazing guitar riffs seemed to make the car fly.

What I remember is being in that moment. Being completely content – not complacent – but simply enjoying the small horizon ahead of me, arriving in LBI and doing whatever felt right once I got there. The future was small, yet large. What happened next? I simply wanted to find out.

Return to splendor

I believe that state of mind is important to retain. Yet, as we get older we accumulate responsibilities (families, mortgages and retirement portfolios) and a history of experience (success and failure) that makes it difficult to do so.

Instead of being consumed with the future and protecting ourselves, what if we let things happen? What if we got that teenage swagger back? What if we didn’t dwell on that track-record of experience, the knowledge that failure could lurk around the corner?

Am I talking about risk taking? Sort of, but not really. Am I talking about ‘thinking out of the box’? It’s more about throwing the box out altogether. That box is how things are supposed to be, but why are they supposed to be that way? Who says!

Paul Buchheit has written eloquently about this on a few occasions, helping to remind me not to live based on fear or lack of imagination.

It’s a nice day to start again

Thankfully my past is littered with examples of starting again. When I knew advertising wasn’t going to be my career, I quit. No job to go to, just the knowledge that it was time to move on. I did data entry temp work for PBS in Alexandria, Virginia until I got a job in fundraising.

When that job disappeared, a retroactive job freeze of all things, I took it as a sign. I drove cross-country from D.C. to San Diego with girlfriend (now wife) and cat in tow. When I tired of fundraising and wanted to get into Internet marketing I moved to San Francisco.

The Web 1.0 bubble burst and I wound up back in fundraising at De La Salle High School. One of the Lasallian teachings is that you can only take the step right in front of you. You can only make the next best decision. Trying to forecast the future is fruitless because each decision leads to something completely different.

I’m not a religious person, but this resonated strongly with my own personal beliefs. So when I broke down sobbing at an assembly, mourning a miscarriage and depressed over my job, I knew it was time to really do something.

And I did. I got back into Internet marketing. In fact, I got into search marketing. And see where that led?

Sweat, Sweat, Sweat

Here I am today, a husband and father with a new mortgage. The reflex for economic stability is huge. Yet, I began consulting because I wanted to spend more time at home with my family. I had no idea if it would be successful. But it was and I couldn’t be happier.

So now I spin on my trainer. I sweat. I sing along with my 17-year old self. My heart is full and I look forward to what comes next.

I tell myself I’ll do the Mount Diablo Challenge again in 2011. I tell myself that I’ll continue to work from home and spend time with the family. I tell myself that I’ll figure out ways to leverage my growing consulting business. There will always be people who say you can’t, but if you’re one of those people, you’re doomed from the start.

I had chronic appendicitis as a child. I’ve been hit by a car while bicycling. I’ve been mugged. I was unemployed for nearly a year. I dealt with the heartbreak of a miscarriage. I went through a crisis of confidence. Do those experiences make me stronger? I don’t know. But I know I have my sneer back.

It’s a sneer that says I’m going to enjoy the life I create … and you can’t stop me.

Don’t lose that Billy Idol sneer

Google suggests can be an endless form of entertainment and insight. Here’s one I caught in late January.

At first glance it seems like a strange combination but upon further inspection it’s a lot like a Google-style Burroughs cut-up.

Theology

You’ve got the adult and kids version of theology with is there a god and is there a santa claus. The current suggester also includes is there an afterlife. Some heavy stuff.

Health

From herpes to AIDS to cancer, health queries are rising. I imagine that many dealing with these issues might wind up typing in is there a god or is there anybody out there. The Internet can isolate but also connect.

Lyrics

The Pink Floyd song is easy to spot, though at first glance I thought it was a Duran Duran reference. I’m an 80s fan and won’t apologize for it! The other song is by Band of Horses. I’ve never heard of them until now. All the songs do have a yearning and ethereal feel to them.

Miscellaneous

The meteor shower must have been very topical at the time because it’s not included in the current suggester. However, things falling from the heavens certainly fits into the overall theme.

As for hdmi cables, get the cheap ones.

Technology now provides a level of connection that was unheard of just a scant twenty years ago. The cell phone, the Internet and the marriage of the two in smart phones (BlackBerry, iPhone etc.) have rapidly increased our ability to stay in touch. But who are we staying in touch with exactly? Do we have the time for all these people, and do we short-change family in the process?

Friend Is a Four Letter Word

Automated report emails from work, status updates from Facebook friends you never really talk to and follower notifications that often wind up being spam consistently interrupt your weekend like a toddler tugging at the edge of your shirt.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when getting an important email while you’re on the go can make a real difference. But most of the time it could have waited until the next day, never mind another hour.

More and more we’re getting messages from online friends: Facebook updates, Twitter followers and FriendFeed subscribers. I get a lot out of my social network, which is nearly all on FriendFeed. There are a slew of people I now count as friends through my FriendFeed experience.

Yet, should I be using my time to chat with them when I could be spending more time with my family, or visiting with friends? To be clear, I’m not saying I’m quitting FriendFeed (far from it!) I’m simply working through how to best use my time in relation to all the ‘friendships’ new technology has enabled.

Technology allows us to keep in touch with more people. But should we? Are these quality interactions? Voyeurism friendships (or those people with whom you’re connected via a social network but rarely interact with online and never speak or meet with offline) take up time, energy and emotion that might be better spent elsewhere.

The First Social Network

And it’s not just about the time devoted to these voyeurism friendships. Technology makes it possible to disrupt real friendships with these voyeuristic updates. Even worse, they might make you inattentive to your first social network: family.

The Annenberg Center for the Digital Future at the University of Southern California is reporting this week that 28 percent of Americans it interviewed last year said they have been spending less time with members of their households. That’s nearly triple the 11 percent who said that in 2006.

Each Saturday morning I take my four year old daughter to dance class. Parents stand outside and watch through a massive window. I bring my BlackBerry with me, but I am very rarely on it and try not to use it at all.

Instead I want to watch my daughter, react to her wave, thumbs up, wink or smile. I want to be present! Because all too often there’s a parent there, head down, tapping away on an iPhone or BlackBerry, oblivious to what’s going on with their child.

I wonder how many children are competing for time and attention with the tiny people living in that smart phone. I can’t believe it feels very good.

Friend Overload

How do these voyeurism friends stack up against other friends or family? I’m a firm believer in Dunbar’s number – the maximum number of healthy social relationships a person can maintain at any one time. Dunbar’s number is approximately 150. The question is, do these voyeurism friends count against this number?

I’m beginning to suspect they do.

You might not think they do, but they’re taking up social and emotional space. You are inserting a random piece of information about a person into your memory. A person who you went to high school with – not really a friend then or now – just got back from a trip to New Orleans. You can’t turn that information off. It’s been received and transmitted to your brain, mixed up with other random facts like song lyrics or television commercials from your childhood.

Whether you like it or not your brain is processing this stuff. You can begin to think about why Dunbar’s number makes sense in this context. As your brain is trying to sort, track and shelve data on more and more people it becomes far more difficult to maintain. You can’t crack the case and stick in more RAM.

Friend Turnover

At some point, you’re only storing a very small amount of data on a slew of people, which makes those relationships tenuous as best. The issue here is that you’re threatening the strength of all your relationships as you expand your reach. You might try to store more about ‘good’ friends and family, but I’m not sure we’re wired that way.

There’s a reason why you lose touch with friends. They aren’t really friends (anymore) and you don’t want to clutter your head with irrelevant data. You outgrow friends. Recent research suggests that you replace half of your friends every 7 years.

I question whether technology is inhibiting the natural shedding of friends necessary for us to move on, to establish new friends and evolve as a person.

The Future of Friends

I’m writing about this, in part, because I don’t know the answer and am struggling with the topic. I’m on FriendFeed constantly, sometimes when I could (perhaps should) be spending time with my wife and daughter.

I’ve taken steps to address this disconnect. I attended the FriendFeed open house so I could actually meet some of the people to whom I’ve been chatting – something that goes against my natural introverted nature.

And I’ve walked away from the computer – completely – to spend more time with family. We walked the Golden Gate Bridge together and explored the California Academy of Sciences.

Time and attention are in short supply in our accelerated society. Sometimes you need to remind yourself about what’s really important.

Manny Ramirez is the latest athlete to be caught using performance enhancing drugs.

Who Cares!

That seems to be the overwhelming reaction. From radio host Gary Radnich to one of my favorite blogs – Reign of Error – they’re not just tired of the scandals but they fail to see that it’s a problem.

Like accused in the criminal offences the range of excuses and rationalizations seem endless. But we must realize that it is the right of the accused to find criminal defense attorneys for hire.

Some view athletics as a form of entertainment and, as such, they don’t see a problem with steroids or cheating. If they’re entertained, they don’t care.

Athletics != Entertainment

I submit that athletics is a form of competition. The competition is entertaining. It is not entertainment. The latter is used by far too many to equate entertainment to business. Athletics is not a business. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of people make a business from sports and competition. But they are not synonymous.

If athletics is entertainment then lets get rid of wins and losses and forget about those silly standings. Instead it’ll just be like 81 trips to the movies. I assume you’ll have no problem with that.

By all means, lets crown the winner in terms of who was most entertaining. Forget the World Series, lets track who made the most money and have an end of the year awards ceremony. We can fight about whether the most profitable team should have won the most entertaining team award. Which outfield wins for best supporting cast? That sounds delightful!

Still think sports is entertainment?

Why do people leave when it’s a blowout? It doesn’t mean that there won’t still be home runs or touchdowns or goals or dunks. It means the competition is over! So please stop saying you’d be pleased as punch to sit and watch some ‘roid filled lunk hit 6 home runs in a 34 to 0 laugher.

Can you blame them?

Many say it’s hypocritical to blame these cheaters. ‘Wouldn’t you take steroids if it meant making $20 million a year?!’ My answer is no. I wouldn’t.

I understand this motivation. I acknowledge that it can be a very alluring idea for some. But I would not cheat for money.

The heart of this argument comes down to greed and it exposes a very real problem with American culture.

People seem willing to accept those willing to do anything in the quest for the almighty dollar. Success is no longer about attaining our best through hard work, practice and determination. Success is about attaining a big bank account … period. That sad statement is reflected in our ambivalence toward cheaters.

Cheating is a slippery slope

If it is okay to cheat to make more money, this means Ken Lay and Bernie Madoff shouldn’t be vilified. They were simply taking every advantage they could to get ahead.

This means you shouldn’t be angry at Wall Street fat cats. And don’t even try to be upset about mortgage lenders. No whining about politicians taking money from lobbyists. Stop complaining about black hat SEO and click fraud. Get comfortable with colleagues sleeping their way to the top. You can also approach the bankruptcy lawyer for hire to take this issue to court to bring out the fraudants present in this field and punish them severely.

These people are all just trying to gain an extra advantage. They were all just doing what they had to to make a buck.

If you accept cheating in sports, you accept it everywhere. You abdicate your outrage and muddy your ethical discernment. So spare me the ‘hypocritical’ tripe and look for that label in the mirror.

Empathy not sympathy

Some sympathize with the athlete (particularly an aging athlete) who is trying to stay competitive. To them I say that it is okay to empathize with the athlete – you might understand why they did it – but in no way should we condone or accept this behavior.

I understand the weakness of these athletes. Just like I might understand the reasons behind someone perpetrating a violent crime it also includes domestic violence. Recent study reveals that domestic violence cases are decreasing. when I came to know about dropping domestic violence claims I was happy . But we must steps to eradicate it completely.

There should be no entitlement to ability nor having the same ability for perpetuity. There is no exemption for entropy.

Winning through cheating is not winning

Let’s give the marathon record to the joker who rode the bus for half the race. Hey, he was just trying to use any means necessary to win, right? What’s the big deal!

Winning is not about short cuts.

In 2003 I completed the Mount Diablo Challenge in one hour and twenty-six minutes. I was not first that day. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But I won that day.

A year of training – of hard work, sacrifice and determination allowed me to climb 11 miles and 3,200 feet that day. I still rely on that day and others on my bicycle to remind me that hard work pays off, that seemingly insurmountable goals can be overcome through hard work.

Cheating! I’d wonder if it had been me or the drugs. I’d have robbed myself of that hard won self confidence and fulfillment. No thanks.

Lip service

Oh, we try to promote the idea that it is the journey that matters and not the destination.

It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

We tell our kids this but many now fail to honor this adage. Some, sadly, even find this statement quaint and outdated. And that’s scary because isn’t this what America really stands for?

America shouldn’t cheat freedom to win.

Everyone is doing it

Nonsense! Everyone isn’t doing it, and even if they were every mom has the perfect response.

If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?

Only a few get caught

Others focus on the fact that only a few cheaters get a lot of media coverage and that many cheaters never get caught. I find speeding is a useful analogy to show the specious nature of this argument.

A lot of people speed. Only a few get caught. Those driving candy apple red sports cars at excessive speeds may get caught more often because they naturally attract more attention.

The fact that only a few get caught, or that those driving really fast in extravagant cars are often singled out does not change the fact that speeding is against the law.

Bonds, Clemens, A-Rod and Manny get an unfair amount of attention for their misdeeds because they’re the candy apple red sports cars of the bunch.

Life is unfair. Get over it.

Life Is Unfair

Oddly, some use the ‘life is unfair’ argument in support of cheaters. They throw their hands up in the air and shout that it’s never a truly level playing field.

So I’ll revise the argument. Life is unfair enough without our artificial contribution. Or to rely on yet another saccharine saying – ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right.’

Don’t Cheat Yourself

Don’t give cheaters a free pass. Don’t say it’s okay because it’s just sports. Don’t say it’s okay because it’s entertaining. Don’t say it’s okay because it’s about money. Don’t say it’s okay because you understand why they did it. Don’t say it’s okay because winning is what really matters. Don’t say it’s okay because you can’t catch everyone.

Don’t cheat yourself with these flimsy arguments. Even if you don’t aspire to some lofty ethical paradigm, think of it as preserving your own self interest. Don’t invite cheaters into your own life.