You Are Browsing The Humor Category

I Ask Good Questions

June 12 2010 // Humor + SEO // Comment

I ask good questions. Really good questions. Even Matt Cutts says so.

Really Good SEO Question

Best Question at SMX Advanced

The You&A with Matt Cutts at this year’s SMX Advanced covered two main topics: Caffeine and May Day. After a humorous back-and-forth between Danny and Matt the public Q&A period started.

Danny asks about Caffeine update and HTML5. A “really good question,” Matt says. Matt says HTML5 is completely unrelated to Caffeine, and Google doesn’t give bonus points for code that validates. But Google does have an HTML parser in the wings.

That’s my question! Proof will come with the video where Danny attributes the question to me by name. Not that it really matters, but it’s nice to be acknowledged and get a pat on the back every once in a while. As an aside, the online submission form is a great way for introverts to interact.

Okay, it’s probably not the best question, but maybe Gil Reich can add a new Best Questions category to his Best of SMX Advanced 2010 post.

Best SMX Advanced Session

Speaking of the best. The You&A with Matt Cutts was great but I walked away from Search Marketing in the Facebook Zone with actionable information and a renewed passion for paid search.

Dennis Yu from BlitzLocal shared real world campaigns and tips on getting the most from Facebook advertising. And Marty Weintraub from aimClear reminded me that figuring out a new platform is amazingly fun. Thank you.

SMX is the Best

Speaking of thanks. A big thank you to Danny Sullivan who has done a super job in providing the search industry with a valuable conference series and continues to be a great ambassador for the search community. See you next year.

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

Google, is there a …

March 20 2010 // Humor + Life + SEO // 1 Comment

Google suggests can be an endless form of entertainment and insight. Here’s one I caught in late January.

Google Suggests for Is There a

At first glance it seems like a strange combination but upon further inspection it’s a lot like a Google-style Burroughs cut-up.

Theology

You’ve got the adult and kids version of theology with is there a god and is there a santa claus. The current suggester also includes is there an afterlife. Some heavy stuff.

Health

From herpes to AIDS to cancer, health queries are rising. I imagine that many dealing with these issues might wind up typing in is there a god or is there anybody out there. The Internet can isolate but also connect.

Lyrics

The Pink Floyd song is easy to spot, though at first glance I thought it was a Duran Duran reference. I’m an 80s fan and won’t apologize for it! The other song is by Band of Horses. I’ve never heard of them until now. All the songs do have a yearning and ethereal feel to them.

Miscellaneous

The meteor shower must have been very topical at the time because it’s not included in the current suggester. However, things falling from the heavens certainly fits into the overall theme.

As for hdmi cables, get the cheap ones.

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

Yelp robots.txt

January 16 2010 // Humor + SEO // Comment

The other day I was doing some robots.txt research and found a great little Easter egg on Yelp.

Yelp Robots.txt

A robots.txt file is a great place to drop Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics. Thanks for the chuckle Yelp!

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

San Francisco Giants SEO

September 29 2009 // Humor + SEO // 1 Comment

The other day I was walking to lunch with a long-time client and we passed one of the main entrances to Pac Bell, SBC AT&T Park. He noted that this particular entrance seemed overly obvious.

San Francisco Giants SEO

This image, from Google Street View, shows the ‘Giants Building’ sign with a SF logo underneath and a ‘Home Of The Giants’ as a type of sub-header.

My response was simple. That’s good SEO.

This brought me a round of good-natured chiding from my client about being a bit too SEO focused. But really, this was a great example of Blind Five Year Old SEO. The sign was simple and instructive. (Perhaps also a reaction to the frequent name changes that Park has undergone.)

Could the San Francisco Giants be SEO savvy?

Let’s say I’m a tourist from … Sweden. What name tells me more: AT&T Park or Giants Building? That’s a no-brainer, right! Better yet, I’ve got that nice SF logo there for some context. And if I’m still confused I’m even told that this is the home of the Giants. Without a doubt I know the building in front of me is the home of the Giants.

Whether or not they’d know that the Giants are a baseball team is another thing entirely.

So am I too SEO focused or is this just a good real world case of providing easy, instructive signage?

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

Bling Search Engine

June 04 2009 // Humor + SEM + SEO // 1 Comment

Bling Search Engine

Since the launch of Microsoft’s Bing I’ve received traffic from ‘bling’ keywords: bling search engine, bling paid search, bling search real time.

Search is funny that way. A small misspelling by the user is matched to a variant of my blog name. The one letter difference between blind and bling seems big to a person but doesn’t amount to much for a search engine. It’s yet another example of my blind five year old theory on search engines.

Bling Search Engine

I don’t know, maybe they should have named it Bling.

Bling is catchy and has an established vernacular. They could have used all sorts of celebrity endorsements about needing to find their bling. I can see the tag line.

“Search for your Bling!”

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

Google is the 6th Ranked Search Engine

June 01 2009 // Humor + SEO // 3 Comments

Don’t believe me? Try a search for ’search engine’ on … Google.

Google is the 6th Ranked Search Engine

That’s right, it returns Google as the 7th result and the 6th search engine. And look at the snippet! Would it kill Google to craft a decent meta description?

In some ways it’s nice to see that Google isn’t optimizing and hasn’t manually altered the results in their favor. Yet, ’search engine’ seems like a valuable term.

Search Engine Search Volume

That’s over 4 million global monthly searches! Even on exact match you get nearly 400,000.

Yahoo seems to get it, putting themselves at the top of a ’search engine’ query on Yahoo. I’m guessing that’s a non-algorithmic result. Sure it seems like a blatant promotion but I understand the reasoning.

Nevermind the oddity of searching for a search engine with a search engine. Search is Google’s business and, as such, it should want to be the top result for the term.

Even from a search quality perspective, are those the best results for the term ’search engine’?

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

How To Deal With Email Mistakes

May 24 2009 // Humor + Marketing + eCommerce // Comment

I am subscribed to a lot of email newsletters. It’s one of the better ways to keep current with email marketing, allowing me to track send frequency, timing and other trends.

The other day I received an email from Smith & Hawken advertising their Memorial Day Deals. Four hours later I got another Smith & Hawken email with a subject line that read ‘Oops, we goofed: Memorial Day Deals for Reals’

Deals for Reals Email

Deals for Reals?

The phrase didn’t match my image of Smith & Hawken. Sure, reals wasn’t spelled with a ‘z’ but it still seemed off-brand. A quick peek at Quantcast confirmed my suspicion – Smith & Hawken customers are older, affluent, highly educated women.

Know your audience

I’m guessing most recipients thought it was a typo. To make matters worse, Smith & Hawken figured out (too late I suppose) that they could have changed the image served in the email to reflect the correct price. In fact, the once erroneous price is now displayed correctly in both email versions.

Smith & Hawken goofed three times. Once with an incorrect price in the email, again with sending an off-brand message and lastly for doing so hastily, before implementing a better solution.

Email Mistakes Happen

Run an email marketing program for any amount of time and you’re bound to make a mistake at some point. You’ll get that frantic call coupled with an avalanche of forwarded emails from colleagues. The price is wrong! The product is out of stock! There’s a typo! It doesn’t work in IE6! Trust me, I’ve been there.

Don’t Panic

Your first reaction might be to immediately fix the error and resend the email as quickly as possible. Once that train leaves the station it can be hard to stop. Unfortunately, the focus on speed often results in further errors and limits your ability to think more broadly.

Instead, come to terms with the mistake. Own up to it and move on. Don’t carry the burden of the mistake around like a scarlet letter. It taints your judgment.

How many?

How many people are really going to see this mistake? How big is your list? What’s the average open rate? Is the error on only one item out of many? Do the math and you might find out that it’s not as big a deal as you first thought.

However, if the mistake is egregious enough (major pricing error or humorous typo) you may have to account for additional views through viral and social mediums.

How big?

Will the mistake result in a loss? How big was the pricing error? Are you bound to honor that price? Is the typo going to damage your brand? In all cases the answer is usually no.

You could choose to honor a pricing error and reduce your margin, or simply build in some extra customer service cost in dealing with pricing complaints. Throw in a retention coupon for good measure and you might actually build brand equity instead of fritter it away.

Typos are annoying but probably aren’t going to damage your brand in the long run unless they become routine. I’ve been critical of typos from Abebooks because I saw a pattern of errors. That, and subject line errors are the easiest ones to catch. Yet, in retrospect, the typos probably don’t amount to much.

How to respond

In this case, I’d opt to do an image replacement and not resend the entire email. Odds are that customers aren’t going to zero in on the one mispriced item.

Those that click through before the image replacement is complete will see the pricing discrepancy but only a few are likely to contact customer service or make it a federal case. Others may mutter under their breath and grumble about the discrepancy but it probably won’t change their behavior.

To safeguard against the latter I’d create a list of those who clicked through on the mispriced item and send a mea culpa email with a coupon for their trouble. (If you don’t have this type of email template ready to go – you should.)

By doing so, I’m only speaking to those who saw the email, reducing my cost and not broadcasting an error to those who weren’t even aware of it in the first place.

Stop Email Mistakes

Don’t let my attitude make you think I’m okay with email errors. I’m not! You should do everything you can to ensure they don’t happen. Have a good process in place. Follow proper QA guidelines. Ensure others are looking at the email before it goes live. Proofread text by reading it backwards. Be paranoid!

When mistakes do happen, take a deep breath, resolve the problem and learn from the experience.

For reals!

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

The Capital of the Internet is San Francisco

April 14 2009 // Humor + Rant + Technology // Comment

Is there any argument that the capital of the Internet is San Francisco?

Sure, there are other areas of activity. New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Seattle, Boston, Austin and a smattering of international destinations all have enclaves of Internet related activity. But the heart of the Internet remains in San Francisco. Or the Bay Area to be more precise.

Just think of the companies based in the Bay Area. Google. Yahoo. Facebook. Twitter. Yelp. Craigslist. eBay. YouTube. FriendFeed. Wikipedia (relocated from Florida). WordPress. Mozilla. Photobucket. Apple. Netflix. CNET. Adobe. Ask. LinkedIn. Snapfish. Digg. ZEDO. Pandora. CafePress. Salesforce.

I’m not even scratching the surface of all the start-ups and other sites, nor am I straying into traditional technology which would be another long list.

The Language of the Internet

Nowhere else is the language of the Internet spoken so fluently. Talk of browsers, social media, search engines, eCommerce, digital media, programming and more are par for the course. You’re bound to hear it if you sit down in a Starbucks and eavesdrop on conversations.

In New York it’s Wall Street. In Los Angeles it’s Hollywood. In Chicago it’s advertising. In Austin it’s music. In Seattle it’s … coffee and the weather. In Boston it’s … the Red Sox. In San Francisco, it’s the Internet.

Under this assumption, the White House is Google. I admit that I haven’t figured out who or where the Capitol is located. (Nominations anyone?)

The Google White House

The other cities mentioned above serve as Internet embassies. These embassies are important, but make no mistake, you’re in a foreign land. The locals don’t speak the language.

Finding the Internet Capital

I know a little more about this topic since I lived in Washington, D.C. for a little over 6 years. Washington D.C. is, without question, the capital of politics. Again, that’s not to say you can’t be a political animal in your own state or city, but D.C. is where it all comes together.

Even in college I couldn’t help but talk about politics and legislation as I drank yards of beer with friends. I knew it was time to leave when the bathroom graffiti was about NAFTA.

I moved from San Diego (yeah, I’ve hop scotched here and there) to San Francisco because I wanted to get into Internet marketing.

Why not do it in San Diego? Well, back in 1999 there was really only one San Diego based option – MP3.com. And the number of applications to openings was staggering. (So was their eventual implosion.)

On a lark (and to my wife’s shock) I sent three resumes to San Francisco based companies. I got three interviews and eventually landed one of those jobs.

San Francisco Detractors

Some simply don’t get it. They view the Bay Area, or Silicon Valley (the latter term seemingly used as a pejorative), as too focused and too caught up with itself. It’s expensive they moan. You live in a bubble and don’t see what’s really going on they shout.

Mind you, the same type of arguments can be applied to Washington, D.C, government and politics. But there are checks and balances.

Internal factions remind us of the outside world. We have our fair share of contrarians. Bubbles pop. And yes, from time to time ambassadors from Internet embassies remind us that there’s life beyond our corner of the world. And there is great work happening beyond the Bay Area.

But at the end of the day …

The capital of the Internet is San Francisco.

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

The End of Rick Rolling?

January 25 2009 // Humor + Technology // Comment

The Google team has quietly announced changes to the thumbnail selections for videos that might spell the end of the Rick Roll.

End of Rick Rolling

In December YouTube announced changes in a post titled ‘A YouTube for All of Us‘. Outside of the strange capitalization the post contained the following statements.

Improved thumbnails – To make sure your thumbnail represents your video, your choices will now be selected algorithmically. You’ll still have three thumbnails to choose from, but they will no longer be auto-generated from the 25/50/75 points in the video index.

More accurate video information – Our Community Guidelines have always prohibited folks from attempting to game view counts by entering misleading information in video descriptions, tags, titles, and other metadata.

Recently, the Google Research Blog explained a bit more about Smart Thumbnails on YouTube.

… our previous system of choosing thumbnails from the 25, 50 and 75% marks in the video, which often led to arbitrary, uninformative or sometimes even misleading images, is now a thing of the past.  When a new video comes to YouTube, we now analyze it with an algorithm whose aim is to pick a set of images that are visually representative of the content of the video.

Clearly Rick Rolling would be Exhibit A and any engineer working on a video algorithm would use Rick Rolls as a use case for development.

Is this the end of Rick Rolling? Perhaps. Or maybe it’s a continuing chess game as Rick Rollers figure out ways to beat the new thumbnail algorithm.

Never gonna give you up … never gonna …

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn

Google Search Query Word Length

December 31 2008 // Humor + Technology // Comment

How many words does it take to get to the end of a Google search query?

Tootsie Pop Owl

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Okay, I’ll spare you the tedium. The answer is 32 words!

Google Search Query Limit is 32 Words

I’m guessing this isn’t new but it just happened to catch my attention. It would have been far more interesting if they’d stopped at 42.

Share and Tell:
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Suggest to Techmeme via Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Facebook
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn